Elderly Husband Wanted!!!

Chromequeen · 08-11-2005

A lonely woman, aged 80, decided that it was time to get married She
put an
ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (80's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the
door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no
arms
or legs.

The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are
you?
Just look at you....you have no legs!"

The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?"

With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and
said:

"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

forest1000 · 08-11-2005

When she's done with my Dad can you tell her to send him back home.

*jukief* · 08-11-2005

My, what a talented man! If he's rich, too, he's just about perfect.

forest1000 · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by jukief

My, what a talented man! If he's rich, too, he's just about perfect.

Nope, he still talks.

*jukief* · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by forest1000

Nope, he still talks.

True, but it'd be easy to gag him.

tnhunter · 08-11-2005

I dont get it? How did he get the wheel chair on her porch?

**Spok** · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnhunter

I dont get it? How did he get the wheel chair on her porch?

ahem...pole vault?

**Spok** · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by jukief

True, but it'd be easy to gag him.

I'm not sure I like the connotations of that one...

Chromequeen · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnhunter

I dont get it? How did he get the wheel chair on her porch?

It was motorized and had a tongue-directed controller!

forest1000 · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by spok

I'm not sure I like the connotations of that one...

I agree.

*trikebubble* · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromequeen

It was motorized and had a tongue-directed controller!

Actually Joy, the correct term would be sip and puff.

(how's that for some ammunition?)

tnhunter · 08-11-2005

But you have to like the way Chromie thinks!!!

Chromequeen · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnhunter

But you have to like the way Chromie thinks!!!

Most women think that way, just too shy to admitt it.

tnhunter · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromequeen

Most women think that way, just too shy to admitt it.

yes, me too. I mean shy, not thinking like that......

forest1000 · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromequeen

Most women think that way, just too shy to admitt it.

Ain't that the truth. My wife wasn't too shy today when she asked me to meet her outside my work to show off one of her new outfits, "I need to talk to you, can you meet me outside?" Her story was that she needed to tell me to get some chocolate bars for the girls on the way home.

*ispeed77* · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnhunter

yes, me too. I mean shy, not thinking like that......

yeah, you're real shy.......

azsunsetangel · 08-11-2005

LOL... that made my day.... thank you for sharing

1400pilot · 08-11-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by spok

ahem...pole vault?

BAWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good one there Dave!!!

**2WheelFun** · 08-12-2005

LOL...Joy...your not ditching Larry are you?

JoeNomad1 · 08-12-2005

LMAO, another plus for the lady, it appears that he has has a very talented tongue too!

From Joy:
It was motorized and had a tongue-directed controller!

08-11-2005	#1 (permalink)
Chromequeen Banned BTK Expert Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Panhandle, FL Posts: 3,209	Elderly Husband Wanted!!! A lonely woman, aged 80, decided that it was time to get married She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED! MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (80's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you....you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!" She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said: "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

08-11-2005	#2 (permalink)
forest1000 Forum Supporter Forum Supporter Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Southern Ontario Posts: 618	When she's done with my Dad can you tell her to send him back home. __________________ I want to carry a piece of who I was before So when I hit the wall, I really hit the wall 86 Ninja 1000R, 84 GPz750

08-11-2005	#3 (permalink)
jukief MSF instructor/Forum mom Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 17,780	My, what a talented man! If he's rich, too, he's just about perfect. __________________ 2002 Vulcan 1500 Classic FI Proud member of Spok's Azz Club (SAC#1) and BamaBob's Nit Pickers Club

08-11-2005	#6 (permalink)
tnhunter Way Too Much Free Time BTK Expert Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Nashville "music city" Posts: 1,320	I dont get it? How did he get the wheel chair on her porch? __________________ 87 vn1500b 88se Jardine pipes stage 1 jet 87 Gl1200I Goldwing load up, head out.

08-11-2005	#12 (permalink)
tnhunter Way Too Much Free Time BTK Expert Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Nashville "music city" Posts: 1,320	But you have to like the way Chromie thinks!!! __________________ 87 vn1500b 88se Jardine pipes stage 1 jet 87 Gl1200I Goldwing load up, head out.

08-11-2005	#17 (permalink)
azsunsetangel Foil Inspector BTK Beginner Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 102	LOL... that made my day.... thank you for sharing __________________ Always a laugh... Always a smile... Always.....

08-12-2005	#19 (permalink)
2WheelFun the "fun old" guy Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Albion, Washington "Pacific Northwest" Posts: 29,885	LOL...Joy...your not ditching Larry are you? __________________ *KING KAHUNA* *2007 V2K LT* ****PICS** 2007 Brute Force 650i **PICS** I love the smell of SeaFoam in the morning**

08-12-2005	#20 (permalink)
JoeNomad1 Wants better weather! BTK Expert Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Fl weather I've been waiting for! Posts: 875	LMAO, another plus for the lady, it appears that he has has a very talented tongue too! From Joy: It was motorized and had a tongue-directed controller! __________________ 99 Green Nomad VH Dual Baggers Extra Chrome Bits Hi Five Air Cleaner

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