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03-24-2006
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#1 (permalink) |
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Mgr. Mid Life Crisis Dept
BTK Expert
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Olive Branch, MS
Posts: 493
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Great "Redneck" Joke
This was too funny not to share. OK, I live in Mississippi so I can tell this joke and no one should be offended, "cause I are one".
A small zoo in Arkansas had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition: Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions. 1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition. 2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition. 3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the chil'run raised Southern Baptist." Once again, the Keeper agreed. 4. "And last of all," Bobby Lee stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00."
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03-24-2006
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#2 (permalink) |
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RIP Deron - 1400Pilot
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Mount Vernon, Washington
Posts: 36,673
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your right, it is a good one.
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AUGUST 2006 MOM In Memory of Deron Harden - 1400 Pilot. You are missed. Official Cup Holder Inspection Officer |
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03-24-2006
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Nomad Madness
BTK Intermediate
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 215
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Quote:
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03-24-2006
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#8 (permalink) |
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Slow Guy on a Fast Bike
Extreme Forum Supporter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Okanagan Falls, BC
Posts: 22,557
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Hee hee.
Everyone knows the story of God creating the world in 6 days, and resting on the 7th....well on the 8th day, God and the angle Gabriel were looking down on the world and God says to Gabriel "I am happy with my creating Gabriel, so happy in fact that today I will create the best land in the world and I will call this land Canada. Oh Gabriel, it will be most beautiful. I will give it tall majestic mountains, and wide open prairies...I will give it not 1, not even 2, but 3 oceans...I will cover this land in rich green forests, deep blue lakes, crystal clear rivers and beautiful wild life for them to enjoy..I will let them experience all 4 seasons and I will populate this land with all different types of people...nothing but the kindest, gentlest most caring people in the world...and they shall be known as Canadians...These Canadians will be known around the world for their friendliness, and compassion for others, and will be well respected by all..they will rise up in the face of tyranny, and help crush evil that threatens the world. They will be intellegent, and use this intellegence for the good of the world...." God keeps going on like this for awhile..and this whole time Gabriel has become quite worried so finally he says.."God, I don't mean to question you, but don't you think that you may be giving these Canadians a little to much?"...God looks upon Gabriel and smiles...then says "Don't worry Gabriel....wait until you see the neighbours I am giving them!"
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03-24-2006
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#9 (permalink) |
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RIP Deron - 1400Pilot
Extreme Forum Supporter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Mount Vernon, Washington
Posts: 36,673
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whats wrong with the population of greenland?
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AUGUST 2006 MOM In Memory of Deron Harden - 1400 Pilot. You are missed. Official Cup Holder Inspection Officer |
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03-24-2006
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#10 (permalink) | |
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It's purple, ma'am
Extreme Forum Supporter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Northwest Georgia
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
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1999 Concours "Purple Pavement Pounder" 2005 Vulcan Classic Sold but not forgotten |
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03-24-2006
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#11 (permalink) |
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Grade "A" Poser
Forum Supporter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ottawa, Ontario Canada
Posts: 1,478
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I thought he was talking about Quebec!
 Hey I can joke about them cause half the people I work with live in Quebec and I can leave my building and be there in about 5 minutes.Hilts
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2003 Vulcan 800 Classic - Metallic Ruby Red F&S Windshield F&S Passenger Backrest Mustang Vintage |
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03-24-2006
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#12 (permalink) | |
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Slow Guy on a Fast Bike
Extreme Forum Supporter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Okanagan Falls, BC
Posts: 22,557
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Quote:
Viva la' Revolution! (Born in Lachine  )
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03-24-2006
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#13 (permalink) | |
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Grade "A" Poser
Forum Supporter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ottawa, Ontario Canada
Posts: 1,478
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Quote:
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03-24-2006
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#14 (permalink) | |
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Slow Guy on a Fast Bike
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Okanagan Falls, BC
Posts: 22,557
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Quote:
Of course my parents decided to move us West when the FLQ starting blowing things up. So I really am a BC boy for all intents and purposes.
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03-24-2006
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#16 (permalink) | |
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Banned
BTK Expert
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 22,566
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Quote:
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03-24-2006
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#17 (permalink) | |
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Slow Guy on a Fast Bike
Extreme Forum Supporter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Okanagan Falls, BC
Posts: 22,557
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Quote:
Ahh c'mon Darrell. I wouldn't do a thing like that.
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03-24-2006
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#18 (permalink) |
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Mgr. Mid Life Crisis Dept
BTK Expert
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Olive Branch, MS
Posts: 493
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Man, I'm here in Olive Branch, Missisippi reading about what a bunch of Canadians have to say about the state of the world. WHAT A COUNTRY! Last time I was in Canada was for Expo 67 in Montreal, I was 10!. Things probably haven't changed much, huh? Isn't this just the greatest forum?!?!
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03-25-2006
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#19 (permalink) | |
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Slow Guy on a Fast Bike
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Okanagan Falls, BC
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Quote:
Sounds like you are overdue for a visit. C'mon up, we'll throw some beer in the cooler for you.
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Where's mississippi,
