Smart women and the men who can handle it!

[BigJohn]

This has been around before, but it’s worth repeateing….

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

[metalesp]

That's good stuff...Hilarious

[anrfknm]

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)


this has always amazed me.

[Johnny O.]

good stuff

[Frankt07]

LOL...those are good ones

[jukief]

John, you always post such good stuff.

All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not a "typical" woman!

[Tod]

*snickers*

[trikebubble]

THose are great. I am going to e-mail them to my gal. It's been nice knowing all of you.

[metalesp]

Dead man walking (or riding)

[SLSChic]

Originally Posted by jukief

John, you always post such good stuff.

All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not a "typical" woman!

Wouldn't that be boring if we were typical? So much more fun to keep them on thier toes!

[Idaho]

Thanks for the laugh

[BigJohn]

Originally Posted by jukief

John, you always post such good stuff.

All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not a "typical" woman!

Frankly my dear, I'm glad too...

[antiq]

Things to do today:
Get organized- talk to wife
Get reorganized- talk to wife
Abandon entire idea- talk to SELF!

[Cruz]

Thats theres some goods reads....