A dogs questions for God

[1400pilot]

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?


Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question...





Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

[Army_of_Ninja]

i love this forum everytime i need it i get a laugh Thanks!

[jukief]

That's really good, Deron.

[Tod]

LMAO!!

Thanks man.

[BigJohn]

Those are priceless! Nancy and I couldn't stop laughing.

[Anglsxst]

Lmao!!!

[anrfknm]

that's good. we have two dogs and know how true it is.

[zedx11]

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

LOL

[darkwolf29a]

Love it.

I sent that to my gf....the cat lover.

*walks off snickering about the squeaky toy*

[metalesp]

That was pretty good.

[Frankt07]

that was funny. good one

[BikerBeagle]

Haha ...so funny ...and so true! My wife hates it when I come in from outside and immediately start dragging my butt on the carpet! ...but it feels sooo goooood!