Just how tough IS Chuck Norris? - Page 9

**Spok** · 06-15-2007

chuck norris was once offended by the energizer bunny...

the bunny isn't going and going and going anymore

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

*jukief* · 06-15-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar7272

Tom Cruise invented pink.

MauiAl · 06-15-2007

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by jukief

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

MauiAl · 06-15-2007

They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

MauiAl · 06-15-2007

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

Michael600r · 06-15-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by MauiAl

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.

Oh heck, I can do that.

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

MauiAl · 06-15-2007

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

**Spok** · 06-15-2007

chuck norris doesn't need to wash his hands before supper as no germs are brave enough to get on his hands

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by MauiAl

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

*trikebubble* · 06-15-2007

Chuck Norris discovered Columbus

MauiAl · 06-15-2007

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

Guitar7272 · 06-15-2007

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s *** halfway through the first chapter.

MauiAl · 06-15-2007

In the early 80's, Michael Jackson picked a fight with Chuck Norris. After just defending himself for a while, CN let loose a roundkick that knocked MJ's nose clean off. 20+ years and countless plastic surgeons still can't get it to stay on

*jukief* · 06-15-2007

You guys are so talented.

06-15-2007	#161 (permalink)
Spok RIP Deron - 1400Pilot Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Mount Vernon, Washington Posts: 36,699	chuck norris was once offended by the energizer bunny... the bunny isn't going and going and going anymore __________________ AUGUST 2006 MOM In Memory of Deron Harden - 1400 Pilot. You are missed. Official Cup Holder Inspection Officer

06-15-2007	#162 (permalink)
Guitar7272 The Widows Son Extreme Forum Supporter Forum Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 9,125	Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. __________________ 2007 mean streak It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring... October 2008 Member of the Month

06-15-2007	#164 (permalink)
MauiAl Evil Doer BTK Expert Join Date: May 2007 Location: Butt Crack Oregon Posts: 2,219	When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. __________________ Putting Up With You

06-15-2007	#166 (permalink)
Guitar7272 The Widows Son Extreme Forum Supporter Forum Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 9,125	The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. __________________ 2007 mean streak It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring... October 2008 Member of the Month

06-15-2007	#167 (permalink)
MauiAl Evil Doer BTK Expert Join Date: May 2007 Location: Butt Crack Oregon Posts: 2,219	They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard __________________ Putting Up With You

06-15-2007	#168 (permalink)
MauiAl Evil Doer BTK Expert Join Date: May 2007 Location: Butt Crack Oregon Posts: 2,219	Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”. __________________ Putting Up With You

06-15-2007	#169 (permalink)
Guitar7272 The Widows Son Extreme Forum Supporter Forum Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 9,125	The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off. __________________ 2007 mean streak It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring... October 2008 Member of the Month

06-15-2007	#171 (permalink)
Guitar7272 The Widows Son Extreme Forum Supporter Forum Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 9,125	There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. __________________ 2007 mean streak It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring... October 2008 Member of the Month

06-15-2007	#172 (permalink)
MauiAl Evil Doer BTK Expert Join Date: May 2007 Location: Butt Crack Oregon Posts: 2,219	Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it. __________________ Putting Up With You

06-15-2007	#173 (permalink)
Spok RIP Deron - 1400Pilot Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Mount Vernon, Washington Posts: 36,699	chuck norris doesn't need to wash his hands before supper as no germs are brave enough to get on his hands __________________ AUGUST 2006 MOM In Memory of Deron Harden - 1400 Pilot. You are missed. Official Cup Holder Inspection Officer

06-15-2007	#175 (permalink)
trikebubble Slow Guy on a Fast Bike Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Okanagan Falls, BC Posts: 22,633	Chuck Norris discovered Columbus __________________ 08 Midnite Sapphire Blue ZX-14

06-15-2007	#176 (permalink)
MauiAl Evil Doer BTK Expert Join Date: May 2007 Location: Butt Crack Oregon Posts: 2,219	When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt. __________________ Putting Up With You

06-15-2007	#177 (permalink)
Guitar7272 The Widows Son Extreme Forum Supporter Forum Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 9,125	Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks. Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order. __________________ 2007 mean streak It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring... October 2008 Member of the Month

06-15-2007	#178 (permalink)
Guitar7272 The Widows Son Extreme Forum Supporter Forum Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 9,125	Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s *** halfway through the first chapter. __________________ 2007 mean streak It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring... October 2008 Member of the Month

06-15-2007	#179 (permalink)
MauiAl Evil Doer BTK Expert Join Date: May 2007 Location: Butt Crack Oregon Posts: 2,219	In the early 80's, Michael Jackson picked a fight with Chuck Norris. After just defending himself for a while, CN let loose a roundkick that knocked MJ's nose clean off. 20+ years and countless plastic surgeons still can't get it to stay on __________________ Putting Up With You

06-15-2007	#180 (permalink)
jukief I miss you, Deron Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Manchester, NH Posts: 19,469	You guys are so talented. __________________ In memory of my friend Deron Harden. Life isn't going to be the same without him.

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