men's rules for women - wouldn't let the wife see - Page 2

**2WheelFun** · 02-16-2005

Gee CQ....Did ya forget any? LOL

Chromequeen · 02-17-2005

Hey Brian's wife!!! Come check this one out! Have I got a list for you to see! lol

Whistle, I just grabbed it off the internet. I had seen it before, so I knew it was out there.

Lori03Ninja500R · 02-17-2005

funny stuff

**2WheelFun** · 02-17-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromequeen

Hey Brian's wife!!! Come check this one out! Have I got a list for you to see! lol

Whistle, I just grabbed it off the internet. I had seen it before, so I knew it was out there.

I figured you copied it....just had to try and make ya smile.

Chromequeen · 02-18-2005

You make everyone on here smile Whistle. Thanks for being you. K, enough mushiness for today. I'm going to go beat the heck out of Sassy this weekend. She either runs by Sunday night, or she goes to the real wrench. That's a threat! (She'll prolly sigh of relief at that statement!)

**Spok** · 02-18-2005

whip sassy into shape there CQ

**2WheelFun** · 02-18-2005

CQ...I wonder if you held up some pictures of other motorcycles in front of Sassy if she would get with the program? LOL

*trikebubble* · 02-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by whistle clean

CQ...I wonder if you held up some pictures of other motorcycles in front of Sassy if she would get with the program? LOL

It would depend on wether they were naked bikes or not.

*ispeed77* · 02-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by trikebubble

It would depend on wether they were naked bikes or not.

ROTFLMAO !!!

Chromequeen · 02-18-2005

LOL!
Trike, you're something else...

Fixion · 02-18-2005

22. You don't have to drink beer before your motorcycle looks appealing.
23. You can be proud of your motorcycle regardless of the model.

22... I'd have to drike alot of beers before a Vespa looks appealing...
23... Refer to #22

**2WheelFun** · 02-18-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by trikebubble

It would depend on wether they were naked bikes or not.

LMAO.....Man...you don't miss a beat!

Chromequeen · 02-19-2005

Thanks Whistle! Showed her a pic of a naked Meanie and that girl started without any prompting!!!!!!!!!!!!

**2WheelFun** · 02-19-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromequeen

Thanks Whistle! Showed her a pic of a naked Meanie and that girl started without any prompting!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL....Soooooo....what's the "Rest of the Story"???????? Inquiring minds want to know!

Chromequeen · 02-19-2005

See the post "Can you believe it???" and you'll get full details. Oh man am I soooo a happy camper! Life is good!

**2WheelFun** · 02-19-2005

OK....I'll go check it out!

CatsDieNow · 02-02-2006

Oil change instructions for women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since last oil
change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil change: $40.00
Coffee: $ 1.00
--------------------------------
Total = $41.00

Oil change instructions for men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
$50.00.
2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive
home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes swearing while looking for lost jack
stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8 ) Look for 9/16ths box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; splash hot oil on face and arms in
process. Swear some more.
12) Crawl out from under car and wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter
and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash to
avoid environmental penalties. Drink beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil
change tomorrow so you can see his new garage door opener work.
18 ) Sunday: skip church because " I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan
full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in
backyard instead of taking it to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Check for Beer. NO luck, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11 to buy more beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Now remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along
with drain plug.
27) Drink a beer.
28 ) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch
of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower
gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the ground. Throw kitty
litter on oil spill.
30) Drink a beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain
plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes b/c wrench hit Miss December's pinup
poster in left boob permanently disfuguring her
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required
38 ) Beer.
39) Beer
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush what's left of the case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
steps 23-43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
48 ) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts- $50.00
DUI - $2,500.00
Impound fee- $75.00
Bail- $1,500.00
Beer- $40.00
-------------------------------
Total= $4,165.00
BUT you know the job was done right!!

kais3rboy · 02-02-2006

Good stuff. Thanks, I'm printing it out and hanging it on the garage here at werk.

SLSChic · 02-02-2006

Thanx Chromequeen, your list is awsome.
38. Your motorcycle has a built in vibrator. This is my favorite. ROFLMAO!!!!
This one tops the chart!

SpectreMan1 · 07-25-2007

Quote:

42. In the morning, your motorcycle won't poke you in the back when it
wants to go for a ride

OMG I'm dien from that one! *been guilty of that a few times* LOL
all of those are great seen many versions of each of them never get old seeing them!

02-16-2005	#21 (permalink)
2WheelFun the "fun old" guy Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Albion, Washington "Pacific Northwest" Posts: 30,211	Gee CQ....Did ya forget any? LOL __________________ *KING KAHUNA* *2007 V2K LT* ****PICS** 2007 Brute Force 650i **PICS** I love the smell of SeaFoam in the morning**

02-18-2005	#26 (permalink)
Spok Whatever Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Mount Vernon, Washington Posts: 33,812	whip sassy into shape there CQ __________________ 2005 V2k Beartooth Kawasaki for all your needs 1-800-556-3098

02-18-2005	#27 (permalink)
2WheelFun the "fun old" guy Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Albion, Washington "Pacific Northwest" Posts: 30,211	CQ...I wonder if you held up some pictures of other motorcycles in front of Sassy if she would get with the program? LOL __________________ *KING KAHUNA* *2007 V2K LT* ****PICS** 2007 Brute Force 650i **PICS** I love the smell of SeaFoam in the morning**

02-18-2005	#31 (permalink)
Fixion Sit speling cheker BTK Expert Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: SWMO Posts: 422	22. You don't have to drink beer before your motorcycle looks appealing. 23. You can be proud of your motorcycle regardless of the model. 22... I'd have to drike alot of beers before a Vespa looks appealing... 23... Refer to #22 Last edited by Fixion : 02-18-2005 at 06:58 PM.

02-19-2005	#36 (permalink)
2WheelFun the "fun old" guy Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Albion, Washington "Pacific Northwest" Posts: 30,211	OK....I'll go check it out! __________________ *KING KAHUNA* *2007 V2K LT* ****PICS** 2007 Brute Force 650i **PICS** I love the smell of SeaFoam in the morning**

02-17-2005	#22 (permalink)
Chromequeen Banned BTK Expert Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Panhandle, FL Posts: 3,209	Hey Brian's wife!!! Come check this one out! Have I got a list for you to see! lol Whistle, I just grabbed it off the internet. I had seen it before, so I knew it was out there.

02-17-2005	#23 (permalink)
Lori03Ninja500R Turtle Wax Taster BTK Intermediate Join Date: May 2004 Location: Alameda CA Posts: 153	funny stuff

02-18-2005	#25 (permalink)
Chromequeen Banned BTK Expert Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Panhandle, FL Posts: 3,209	You make everyone on here smile Whistle. Thanks for being you. K, enough mushiness for today. I'm going to go beat the heck out of Sassy this weekend. She either runs by Sunday night, or she goes to the real wrench. That's a threat! (She'll prolly sigh of relief at that statement!)

02-18-2005	#30 (permalink)
Chromequeen Banned BTK Expert Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Panhandle, FL Posts: 3,209	LOL! Trike, you're something else...

02-19-2005	#33 (permalink)
Chromequeen Banned BTK Expert Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Panhandle, FL Posts: 3,209	Thanks Whistle! Showed her a pic of a naked Meanie and that girl started without any prompting!!!!!!!!!!!!

02-19-2005	#35 (permalink)
Chromequeen Banned BTK Expert Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Panhandle, FL Posts: 3,209	See the post "Can you believe it???" and you'll get full details. Oh man am I soooo a happy camper! Life is good!

02-02-2006	#37 (permalink)
CatsDieNow Newbie Join Date: May 2004 Location: Fort worth, TX Posts: 19	Differences between men and women doing oil changes Oil change instructions for women: 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil change: $40.00 Coffee: $ 1.00 -------------------------------- Total = $41.00 Oil change instructions for men: 1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00. 2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home. 3) Open a beer and drink it. 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes swearing while looking for lost jack stands. 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7) Place drain pan under engine. 8 ) Look for 9/16ths box end wrench. 9) Give up and use crescent wrench. 10) Unscrew drain plug. 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Swear some more. 12) Crawl out from under car and wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain. 14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. 15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off. 16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash to avoid environmental penalties. Drink beer. 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can see his new garage door opener work. 18 ) Sunday: skip church because " I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in backyard instead of taking it to recycle. 19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. 20) Check for Beer. NO luck, drank it all yesterday. 21) Walk to 7-11 to buy more beer. 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 24) Now remember drain plug from step 11. 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug. 27) Drink a beer. 28 ) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas. 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the ground. Throw kitty litter on oil spill. 30) Drink a beer. 31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame. 32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31. 33) Begin cussing fit. 34) Throw stupid crescent wrench. 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes b/c wrench hit Miss December's pinup poster in left boob permanently disfuguring her 36) Beer. 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required 38 ) Beer. 39) Beer 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 41) Beer. 42) Lower car from jack stands. 43) Accidentally crush what's left of the case of new motor oil. 44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23-43. 45) Beer. 46) Test drive car. 47) Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence. 48 ) Car gets impounded. 49) Call loving wife, make bail. 50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard. Money spent: Parts- $50.00 DUI - $2,500.00 Impound fee- $75.00 Bail- $1,500.00 Beer- $40.00 ------------------------------- Total= $4,165.00 BUT you know the job was done right!!

02-02-2006	#38 (permalink)
kais3rboy Can't find time to ride BTK Expert Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Reston, Va Posts: 531	Good stuff. Thanks, I'm printing it out and hanging it on the garage here at werk. __________________ COURAGE is to move into danger with a means to escape.

02-02-2006	#39 (permalink)
SLSChic Hallo, mine name iz Gretchen Extreme Forum Supporter Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Lolo,Mt Posts: 8,797	Thanx Chromequeen, your list is awsome. 38. Your motorcycle has a built in vibrator. This is my favorite. ROFLMAO!!!! This one tops the chart! __________________ ANAMOSITY.COM

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)