men's rules for women - wouldn't let the wife see

[w1ngzer0]

LMAO to im in shape, round is a shape and crying is blackmail. hahaha =P

[Granny]

20 Biker Rules:

1. A 'good' ride is one you can walk away from. A 'great' ride is one you
can walk away from and still be able to use the bike again.

2. Every ride is optional.

3. If you push the bars left, the bike goes left. If you push the bars
right, the bike goes right. That is, unless you continue pushing the bars
all the way, then the bike will go down.

4. Riding a motorcycle isn't dangerous. Crashing one is.

5. It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track
than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.

6. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

7. The rear wheel is just a big fan on back of the bike used to keep the
rider cool and his/her butt relaxed. Going into a corner too fast and
slamming on the rear brake causes the "fan" to abruptly stop. When this
happens you can actually see the rider start sweating and his/her butt
become tense.

8. When in doubt slow down. No one has ever hit anything too slowly.

9. Always learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make them all yourself.

10. You'll know you've left the sidestand down when all left turn are
Bat-turns and you'll know you've left the centerstand down when you're in
1st gear at 4000 rpm, going nowhere.

11. Never let a motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't get to at
least three seconds earlier.

12. Always try to keep the number of times you put your sidestand down
equal to the number of times you put the sidestand up.

13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow and on
ice. Unfortunately nobody knows what they are.

14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and
fibreglass going 100+ miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per
hour, the ground has yet to lose.
(Same goes for cars, large trucks, and animals taller than you. Draws don't
count.)

17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually
comes from bad judgment.

18. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

19. Remember, gravity and centrifugal force are not just good ideas.
They're laws and are not subject to appeal.

20. The two most useless things to a rider are the braking distance behind
you and nine-tenths of a second ago.

[Granny]

WHAT IS MARRIAGE???

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
15. A man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE.
WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED.
The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

[Granny]

Men Are Just Happier People:

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Her Wedding dress - $5000. Your Tux rental - $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're
talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

[lecchilo]

hahahahah ^^ those are awesome

[metalesp]

Originally Posted by Granny

Men Are Just Happier People:

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Her Wedding dress - $5000. Your Tux rental - $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're
talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Amen to that!

[tyler parkinson]

i have a tecal question about my klf400b can any budy help

[ispeed77]

yes, but you need to post a new thread in the appropriate section of the forum.

[Firestorm]

lol funny stuff

and very true