Why did the chicken cross the road???

[SouthernRider]

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


Alvin Toffler: Because the chicken was suffering from future shock.(Barbara Llorente)


Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take


John Locke: Because it was exercising its natural right to liberty.


COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image . . of the chicken crossing the road...


MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.


Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapiens pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.


DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.


ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.


The Bible: God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.


JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
Oliver Stone It was a government conspiracy.



Sir Edmund Hillary: Because it was there.


Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.


JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that!


Sigmund Freud: As an expression of the repressed desire to have sex with its mother. The road symbolizes the barrier presented by the cultural taboo.


Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.


John Wayne: 'Cause a chicken's gotta do what a chicken's gotta do.


Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. This isn't about roads and chickens. I don't think you quite understand that what you believe I may have meant isn't what you think I said.


Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"


Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.


Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet xplorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra... #@&&;^( C \ .... Reboot.


Bill Clinton: I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with that chicken!


Stevie Wonder Chicken, what chicken?


George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.



GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Current President George W. Bush It will be a long crossing that is for sure, and we ask all pedestrians and automobiles for their patience as it crosses the road. But make no mistake about it, it WILL cross the road! It will prevail!


Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.


Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.


Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.


Adolph Hitler: To purify the chicken race.


Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.


Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did she cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road.
But why she crossed, I've not been told!


O.J. Simpson It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.


Osama bin Laden To strike at the heart of the infidels. Praise be to Allah!


Colonel Sanders: I missed one?


OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

[mrblanche]

To show the armadillo that it COULD be done.

[Jake '53]

Originally Posted by mrblanche

To show the armadillo that it COULD be done.

LMAO. I'm convinced that I-40 is the only thing keeping armadillos from inhabiting all of North America.

[Nate]

No, they got past that barrier long ago. They were well north of Enid, OK into southern Kansas a decade ago.

I always thought it'd be entertaining to have caught a couple and turned them loose up here. They'd give the skunks a run for their money!

BTW, around here chickens cross the road to show the skunks/raccoons/deer that it can be done.

[Guitar7272]

I lulzed at the jerry falwell one...