Something to offend everyone

[Frenchy]

I got this in an e-mail, and I thought it was funny.

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
>
> Q. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
> A. Juan on Juan
>
> Q. What is a Yankee?
> A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>
> Q. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
> A. The position of the dirt bag.
>
> Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
> A. Because it's worth it.
>
> Q. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
> A. One US leader.
>
> Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
> A. Doughnuts.
>
> Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
> A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
>
> Q. Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
> A. Because Janet Reno is her real father.
>
> Q. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in
> a room
> together?
> A. 100 people who don't do di ck.
>
> Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
> A. A golden retriever.
>
> Q. What do attorneys use for birth control?
> A. Their personalities.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
> A. 45 lbs.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
> A. 45 minutes.
>
> Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
> A. None, they just sit there in the dark and be'otch.
>
> Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
> A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>
> Q. Why do men want to marry virgins?
> A. They can't stand criticism.
>
> Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
> caring, and
> good looking?
> A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
> A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
>
> Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
> driving.
>
> Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.
> Who has the
> biggest boobs?
> A. The blonde, because she's 18.
>
> Q. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
> A. Because they have cotton balls.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
> A. A porcupine has the pri'cks on the outside.
>
> Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
> A. Are you sure it's mine?"
>
> Q. What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
> A. Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
>
> Q. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
> A. Mace will do that to you.
>
> Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
> A. Everyone has the same DNA.
>
> Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> A. Breasts don't have eyes.
>
> Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi
> A. He walks around saying "Yo."
>
> Q. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the
> car only on
> Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
> A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>
> Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
> A. "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
>
> Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
> A. A different bar.
>
> Q. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
> A. They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
>
> Q. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
> the
> other?
> A. A speech impediment.
>
> Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
> half-mast?
> A. They're hiring.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
> A. A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of
> the cage
> along with... "a recipe".
>
> Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
> A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>
> Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
> fairytale?
> A. Anorthern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
> fairytale
> begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shi'it..."
>
> Q. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
> A. No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

[cpttoad1swife]

roflmao!!! good ones frenchy

[A2rider]

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A. Anorthern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
fairytale
begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shi'it..."

I thought it started with, "hold my beer and watch this....."

[cpttoad1swife]

tina some of them do!!!! tommy said all the southern fairys hes seen didn't have no tail.............

[V2K_CCTX]

Lmao

[Seadog1967]

Originally Posted by cpttoad1swife

tina some of them do!!!! tommy said all the southern fairys hes seen didn't have no tail.............

Was that in some of those southern truck stops. LOL

[Ruh Roh]

Originally Posted by cpttoad1swife

tina some of them do!!!! tommy said all the southern fairys hes seen didn't have no tail.............

U meen it aint " aint got no tail". I tink ur rong.

[Cruz]

Good fun right there...GET"R"DONE!!!

[Nate]

Originally Posted by A2rider

I thought it started with, "hold my beer and watch this....."

That's the obituary.

[A2rider]

Originally Posted by Nate

That's the obituary.

LOL

[SilverEagle]

Ohhhh, good gawd I love being offended...........that was a few good laughs.