Did Not Mean To...

[Slo'Poke]

Make This Guy Look Bad In Front Of His Girlfriend.

Note to future self: Must think out of the box in these kind of situations!

On my way home today, I found a mid-90's Ford Escort pulled off the side of the freeway. I'm kind of a sucker for these kind of scenarios; once I was broken down with an unfixable item on a remote section of I-5, and no one stopped to help for a loooooong while. I pulled the bike over to check on the couple sitting inside.

It was a flat. The trunk was open and the spare was out, but the guy explained that he could not get the jack out from it's storage compartment. As he and the girlfriend walked me to the back of the vehicle, he explained it seemed 'fused' to it's mounting bracket, as he put it. His girlfriend confirms the story. She relates how he's been trying for half an hour to get the jack out of the compartment, without success.

So we're all at the trunk, and I'm looking at the jack, sitting in it's bracket. You all have seen it before and knows how it works. You insert the hooked end of the the longer rod into the hole in the tab at the end and start cranking. By turning that tab, the screw that runs lengthwise thru the jack is turned, which pulls the opposite horizontal ends together. That in turn elevates the jack by expanding it in the vertical.



As I'm studying it, I'm noticing that it looks too snug in the bracket. And the jack is surprisingly free of rust or corrosion.

For the benefit of those who have never seen this jack sitting in it's storage compartment, it is held in place by it's own design principle. You see, the first time you ever look at it, it's in a slightly 'elevated' position. The guy or gal that puts it in there slides it into the bracket, then twists the tab to extend the jack in the up-n-down plane. That secures it in the bracket. To get it out, you twist the tab in the opposite direction to 'lower' the jack. That frees it from the bracket, and it can be removed.

***I can hear some chuckles out there. You know what's wrong here.***

Now let's set the stage here. The blond haired girl, hanging off the arm of her man in that oh-so-doeful kind of cute way. The guy is in his mid-twenties, easily a head taller than I am, has a rather muscular build, and wears considerable scruff on his face; he's probably the man's man in her eyes. There's nothing he can't do in the world for her. She's sure of it. Not a doubt in her mind.

You also might be thinking I might've thought of how badly this could bode for boyfriend if I handled this without some carefully crafted tact.

But alas, there was at least one thing he might be found wanting in. And I did not come up with that possibility in my head at the time (I blame the heat - it's been in the 90's lately).

I reach in and twist the tab five or six times. The jack lowers an inch or so, then tumbles halfway out of the bracket. I wrap my fingers around it and pull it out, offering it up to him for his use.

That's when she lets go of him. A burning look of disbelief, annoyance, and I think fury settled onto her face as she just glared at him. I think I'm becoming telepathic; I could HEAR her thoughts as she (clearly) struggled to not verbally lash out at him. I heard a lot of thoughts just coming out of her like a flood, and none of it was very nice. She settled into a stance, hands on hips, looking like she was contemplating carrying out a biology experiment involving a human body subjected to high speed traffic.

And then there's boyfriend, who just stares at the jack in his hand. He has the most genuine awful look, born of the simultaneous mental assault of realizing 1) just how long they've been stuck because of this stuck jack that was not stuck in the first place, 2) how incredibly unintelligent he must look like in the eyes of girlfriend right now, and 3) how much he truly wishes this was all a bad Southwest Airline's commercial (slogan - need a vacation?).

And that's when I realize just how badly I handled it. I could've easily come up with something to send girlfriend away. "Excuse me. Could you please check if the ignition on my bike is off?" That wasn't hard! ***smack forehead*** DOH!!!

Clairvoyance. I think I was developing that talent, too. I cringed at the thought of this guys existence for the next hour or so after I left. Again, nothing I gathered in those few moments was very nice.

That's when he looked up at me. There was a bit of a storm going on in his eyes, much like that hurricane that's brewing in the Gulf right now. He's thinking of the same biology experiment she is, but he's made a slight alteration as to who is the test subject.

That was my cue. "I think you've got it now." I left... quickly!

Sorry dude. I am so sorry!

[Musgofasa]

I have very little patience with stupid people.

Perhaps frustration got the better of him, but if he couldn't figure that one out, he deserved the embarrasment.

My $0.02

lol

Good story though.

Robert

[Scrambler81]

I think stupid might be a little harsh, some days you look at some thing simple like that, and it just doesn't sink in right away. Fortunately, when I've had brain farts like that, I'm normally alone so I don't have to deal with the laughter. I bet that poor devil got an ear full after you left.

[McGrude]

That's classic Slo'! I also really like the way you wrote that.

I'm with you, I'd have left quickly also.

[jbsmd]

I don't know why the girl would be so disappointed in her boyfriend. Apparently she couldn't figure it out either. There are a lot of people out there that are not mechanically inclined. I know there are things out there that I can't do. Like a Rubiks Cube, simple for some hard for others.

[sebastian1000]

I would have got the girl while he was doing the grunt work! LOL

[tricker]

someone's not getting any tonight

[A2rider]

If that would have happened to me, I would have handed Alex $5 and thanked him for his knowledge.

[RichLockyer]

Should have slipped her your number

I started chuckling as soon as I saw "mid-90s Escort" and "fused jack"

I had a '91.

[A2rider]

Escorts are evil.

[Slo'Poke]

Originally Posted by RichLockyer

Should have slipped her your number

In another world, my friend.

Don't you just hate those cars. Had a 95 myself. Did not miss it one bit when I got rid of it.

Tina - Yes they are!

[jbsmd]

My kid had an Escort. It wouldn't run, pulled the plugs to do a compression check, cranked it over and got a face full of water from #2 cylinder. Crack in the head right through the exhaust port.
Remember the old bumper jacks? Now those were scarry.

[Slo'Poke]

Originally Posted by jbsmd

My kid had an Escort. It wouldn't run, pulled the plugs to do a compression check, cranked it over and got a face full of water from #2 cylinder.

LOL. Now that's something I'd never expect!

[RichLockyer]

Tranny went at 30k.
Took the dealer a month to fix it because "they are so bulletproof that nobody stocks parts"
Got it back, was getting 17-20mpg.
2 weeks later, trans went again.
Service writer tried to say that I put it in neutral, revved it to 3k, and dumped it into drive.
I refused to sign their form, and told them that I would NOT accept another Enterprise rental at $40/day as I had already paid over $600 out of pocket for the initial repair's rental even though my ESP was supposed to cover the rental.

I was seriously ready to burn the place down and they KNEW it... they pulled an F250 from their commercial lease fleet and handed me the keys... no paperwork at all.

Took them 2 weeks to repair it this time.
At 70k the timing belt went.

At 120k the timing belt went AGAIN (only 50k on this one?).
Mentioned to the dealer that I noticed a "shaking" in 3rd gear, he said the trans had less than 5,000 miles left in it.
Oh ya... and when I got it back from the dealer having the 2nd timing belt put in, I had a coolant leak that I never had before.


Ford can kiss my a$$.


Sadly, I'm stuck in an Exploder now, but when the lease is over, it'll be upgraded to a 4-Runner.

[barry5k]

The girl is insensitive. We all look like fools at one time or another. He should dump her!

[Slo'Poke]

Hated the ride quality to begin with, then the autobelt on the driver's side sailed in open position a little before 50K. My own timing belt went at about 70-ish too. The piece de resistance, the radiator fan assembly disintegrated shy of 90K, tearing up the radiator and a host of other things here and there.

Had it towed home. I figured to have it fixed was a complete waste of time and money (could not see it have any serious value as a trade in, even if I had the damage repaired), so called an organization that takes donated cars, working or not, within a week. I was so willing to get rid of it, that it actually brought a smile to my face as it vanished out of my life.

[Spok]

kudos for you stopping to offer assistance. you can't fix stupid

[LordGT]

You should have told the guy, "If you were wearing your sign, I could have sent your girlfriend away before I showed you this" Or just "Here's your sign" and run...

[Watson69]

Sympathy for the dummy denied. The basic mechanical function of a jack in storage is obvious enough, but for those completely clueless, there's this thing called the owners manual that should clearly illustrate how to remove the jack to change a tire.

People, spend some time with your sons and daughters...TEACH them the basics, please.

Good story, though.

[Obsidian16825]

People who don't know how to do what I know how to do know how to do things I don't know how to do.