No riding? Are you nuts? Man, have a little imagination and do this:
Open soup can. Dump over-salted crap down the drain. Remove the label and rinse out. Cut the other end out. Cut can in half length-wise. Wrap around ends of broken pipe and wrap with high-temp glass tape. Ride across the county for cookies and ice cream.
And if it doesn't work out, you're always welcome to ride your lawn mower down this-a-ways. Lesee, if you leave now, at 15 mph, you should....um....be here.... errr....Tuesday? :-D:-D