therogue,
Couple of ideas/thoughts (FWIW):
1. Is it too late to cancel the handlebar warmers in exchange for heated gloves or heated clothing? Heated clothing is more efficient since the heat doesn't have to go thru the handlebar, then the grip, then your glove to get to your skin to warm you up;
2. If you can at least get the grips "started" by heating them up, try squirting a little PB Blaster or some kind of "break free" type in there to assist in sliding those puppies off. Wipe them dry ASAP so the chemicals don't do any damage (maybe even blow them dry with the hair dryer that started the removal process!); and
3. If all else fails, get The Supreme Allied Commander's approval for new grips with the promise of same for her. Use your best sales pitch and convince her how she's going to want new grips, too. "See, honey... feel these. You can't ride comfortably with me with those grips..."
Good luck with that.
DS