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Post 340 Riders
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This is for all of you that still persist, for some unknown reason, in living in places where it SNOWS on a regular basis. I cannot fathom the reasoning behind this, but perhaps this "snow diary" will. Enjoy.

Oh, BTW, I hope you have a "white Christmas".

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife
and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the
huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled
for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the
sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and
closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white
Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end
of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to
-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape
this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We
aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I
think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare
at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to her. God! I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in
my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the **** stuff last
night. More shoveling! Took all day. The **** snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing
hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a
snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're
lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think
he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt
till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had
to ****. By the time I got undressed, ****ed and dressed again, I was too tired to
shovel. Tried to hire Bob-who has a plow on his truck-for the rest of the winter, but
he says he's too busy. I think the ******* is lying.

December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted
me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't
she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a ***** who drives
that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death
with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling, and then he comes down the street...at a 100 miles an hour and throws
snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents...but I was too busy watching for the ****
snowplow.

December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the **** slop tonight -
snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then
the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with
my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I
have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
microwave.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER
idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came
after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The ***** is driving me
crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave
in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing
me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to
shove the broken snow shovel up his ***. The wife went home to her mother. Nine
more inches predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why
am I tied to the bed ???

...and so, we here in sunny Florida salute you hardy individuals!
 

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Vintage bike addict
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Yep that just about sums up a northern winter. And my feelings toward the white crap.
 

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I have fired up my snow blower once this season. I just hope I don't have to fire it up anymore (very unlikely)...but I won't miss the white stuff at all. If I want a white christmas, I'll just take a vacation to the North Pole.
 

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Had snow and freezing rain then 4in of snow then another 4-6 inches then it rained and temps warmed up all the snow is gone took the 900 out for a ride to nowhere today :biggrin: . Temps to drop tonight and snow tomorrow won't that be nice for Christmas :icon_frow
 

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I ride, therefore I am.
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1,917 Posts
Lately, my attitude has been thusly...​

Snow,
in all it's wondrous beauty,

SUCKS!
 

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Old Man Riding
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930 Posts
Aw - Bama - lived here 3 years and not a flake. Sounds good to me. It's warming up to 60+ this weekend here, so I'll be riding. Snow - Bah - Humbug!!
 

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Aw - Bama - lived here 3 years and not a flake. Sounds good to me. It's warming up to 60+ this weekend here, so I'll be riding. Snow - Bah - Humbug!!
You know by December 8th I could see the future of this poor guy. I had visions of Mister Rogers singing ..."It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood..." as my eyes filled with tears and laughter increased for each daily diary entry.

Lived in Memphis through a few ice storms in 90s. Everything practically shuts downs if the remmants of a hurricane past thru here, B'ham. I've been told that if it snows here, it lasts for one day.

LSHIC:lol: :lol: :cry: :cry: :cry: :wink: :tongue:
 
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