[RagDoll_Kunoichi]

Have any of you had a friend die on his/her bike? One of my friends died about a month ago in a bike crash. The accident happened when he lost control of his bike, crashed into a utility pole. His helmet broke his neck; either it wasn't strapped on or it didn't properly fit him. His death really shook me.

Ever since then I haven't been the same when it came to riding. I laid off from riding for two weeks. I got back on the third week, and I just couldn't ride anymore. It was like I completely lost all of my skills and experiences. I sucked. All of prespectives of riding changed. All of a sudden I was THINKING about riding as I rode (which, if you know what I mean, is a really bad thing). For me, riding used to be just "go!" and not thinking about the worse case scenario. Now I think about the risks...

I believe that I have gotten over the lost. I've given myself time to morn. Someone said to me that his death will always subcoinciously bother me and my riding. I'm afriad it will effect my riding a long time.

I hate to drag everyone down with a post like this, but I figure I should let you guys know why I all of a sudden suck. If anybody had lost a friend in a bike tragedy, I'd like to know what it took for you got over it and how you got back on.

 

[Green Knight]

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know anyone personaly but I have a few friends who knew some people who did. It was a long time ago though.

As far as the helmet... Not very many helmets protect your neck. In fact it is claimed that helmets make neck injuries worse because they transfer the force there. I still ware mine though. I don't think that is a reason to not ware them.

I hope you find some peace soon.

 

[Ken]

Wow, what a gut wrenching post. I too am sorry for your loss. He must have been a good friend for it to affect you so deeply.

I can't imagine what it must feel like to get back on, but I'm trying to. I'd want to concentrate on riding in his memory. I'm sure your friend would wnat you to jump back into the saddle and cruise on.

Keep trying. Good luck. It'll happen.

 

[bikeaholic]

re

ragdoll - your feelings are normal , don't let it worry you :wink:
i've lost 2 buds to accidents,neither of which was their fault and it still
hangs with me sometimes but you can't dwell on it. don't be down on yourself
your skills are still there-its just your mindset -give it a little time

time heals most wounds :wink:

 

[TrashMonkey]

DELETED

 

[1Adam12]

Sorry to hear that someone close to you passed. My condolences to you and his family. Time heals all wounds.... I had a friend in 83 crash at a high rate of speed on a motorcycle...it was a big mess as he hit a freeway concrete support on a curve under the freeway. To this day, I still ride by and think of him. Usually stop for a moment to remember him and move on. At the time I was devastated like yourself, but over time things got better. You never forget as they will always be apart of your heart.

like ohana, ya

 

[ipscshooter]

I am sorry for your loss. A month is not a long time when grieving the loss of someone close. As others have said it will become more bearable over time.

 

[ZX-2R]

BIKE

I have lost friends and several family members in accidents. A couple were looking for accidents, most of them were not, and were riding responsable. The thing is really thinking about what went wrong and knowing that anythng can happen evenif you are driving a big rig. I've avioded accicdnts by being on a bike where in a car I would have been in real trouble. I enjoy the freedom and understand teh risks involved. Now that you have lost someone you feel bad and that is normal. Telling yourself that you suck is something you need to stop and right now. YOu didn't cause or were even involved in the accident. Your friend would disagree with you, as the Forum does about your attitude about your being so down on yourself. You are not your friend, YOu have different skills, and knowledge and a completely different world. Would your friend be pleaed if you just quit riding if he/she was alive...would you be plesed with yourself if you just gave something up because one of your friends died. Would you quit swimming and never go into the water again if a friend drowned accidently? I'm not being fair...but LIFE is not entirely fair. Doubting your abilities because a friend dies...it could be a good thing if you have a weakness that you know that you need to deal with. Perhaps you need to work on cornering, or closed course, like parking lot tight, slow traffic... What ever it takes, take the time to think it through. IF you have any belief in God, then you know that all is written the book for everyones life...it was his time to go, not yours. Honor him, and talk to your friend...Pray aloud if you need to, and even go to the gravesite and talk if it helps you. Ride your bike there and tell your friend that you will miss him. I miss a very close friend, and one of my cousins more than I have ever talked about or written about...still I'm back to riding. I know that my friend was a loose cannon and didn't care...and I know that my cousin was very careful and has a bunch of brothers and sisters that still miss him, too. It still bothers me, and occasionally I think about them when I do something STUPID or careless, or a car gets within a foot of my license plate at a stoplight. I remember them, and it helps to calm me, knowing What could have happened but didn't. We are invisable on the road to many drivers. Yesterday driving my 2000Windstar I had a pickup try to change lanes, I was in the left lane so I just kept the space, about 2' between us as I waited for him to move back over, and my wife was screaming and pounding her window at him...the shoulder had plenty of room, and should he have hit us, then it would have been some bent sheetmetal and all, but I still had the shoulder nd even the median if I had to use part of it...Knowing what to do and planning ahead ("What if") is constantly on my mind. When I let my guard down...I find a situation like the guy a foot off of my plate, frustrating, but I smile and thank my cousin (and God) and looked at the guy, and got off my bike measured the space and held up my hands a foot apart and shrugged my shoulders before I climed back aboard my bike...and waited for the light to turn green. I found peace in that the other day. I even waved nicely (no finger salutes) when he passed me about a block later.

 

[RampRat 2]

Yep, I've known a couple people to get killed on motorcycyles. Also I'm a FF/EMT and have had to pick up a few bikers & put them into plastic baggies cuz they were not wearing helmets.

If you ride a motorcycle without a helmet you are stupid and asking to be put in a body bag.

Now having said that it's not always easy for me to climb back on the bike after having to see a bike wreck, but it's just like ridding a horse and you get bucked off.

Either get right back up on the beast or turn you're back & forget it.

I personally prefer to climb into the sadle & go for a mind clearing ride.

 

[Stuart]

what he said verbatim

 

[ZX-2R]

Ride On

Nice way of saying what needed to be said RampRat!